Ominous dark clouds billow and roar
Glistening tears from the heavens pour
Sky, Oh sky, must it be
that I shall never answer her call.

Behold the pastures, turn to the greens!
flick your eyes over in the subtlest glimpse
There! Poises her in the gentle wind
Beckoning, alluring, to all she sings.

Tinges her voice with untaint mirth
joy, gladness, scarcely simple love:

F ree, Free,
R un with me,
I nto the wilderness,
S oar over the seas,
B e at calm,
E spouse the truth,
E mbrace the joy, of your youth!

Ominous dark clouds billow and roar
Glistening tears from the heavens pour
Sky, Oh sky, must it be
that I shall never ever answer her call.

She sings, yes! Such beautiful tunes!
Weaving a tapestry with her vocal looms
Yet I know that it cannot be
Yet I know that I must see
My halcyon days flee
before me
thus ignoring my silent plea

That she, no, will not be off, will not be off,
where is justice
where is mercy
please no. please no. my love, my life.
just. once.
pretty
ple...aasse?

...

and.

yet.

it.

must.

I just had a little revelation! The stock market actually means... very little! In fact, it is a huge waste of productivity and time.

I shall explain what I mean with an example:
Scenario 1:
1. Assuming that a barrel of oil was trading at $25. Tom buys 3 barrels at $75
2. OPEC cuts back on production, oil rises to $28. Tom sells his barrels at $84 to Tim, who hopes the price of oil will rise further. Tom makes $7 and the broker takes a $2 cut.
3. Oil prices rise further to $30! Tim is elated and sells his barrels to Jim at $90. Tim takes $5 and the broker takes a $1 cut.
4. Brunei defects on the OPEC agreement and increases output. Oil prices fall to $25 again. Jim sells his barrels to minimize loss. Tom sees the opportunity to get the barrels cheap and buys at $75. Jim loses $17, ($15 loss + the broker takes his $2 cut).

The net effect of the above scenario is that Tom earns $7, Tim makes $5, Jim loses $17 and the broker makes $5.

Scenario 2:
1. Oil prices are at $25.
2. Oil prices rise to $28.
3. Oil prices rise to $30.
4. Oil prices fall to $25 again.

Now let us compare the differences between scenario 1 and scenario 2. In scenario 1, we find that the net profit of the system is $0, just that $$$ has been redistributed to benefit savvy investors and the broker, at the expense of Jim.
In scenario 1, we also find that Tom, Tim, Jim, and the broker has each wasted 1-2 hours of time buying and selling oil to each other. These hours would have been saved in scenario 2.

We thus find that the market simply results in a redistribution of wealth to the rich, and a net loss of productive time to the world!!! Without the secondary stock market, thousands of people could be out there producing barrels of oil, applying their knowledge to doing some real good in the world. With the market, people are just buying and selling goods from one another, barrels of oil are circulating out there from owner to owner, precious hours are being wasted in the process!

Liken it to a huge lobbying system man. The world could really do with some real contributions instead..

Contemplating the reality of the stock market in Florida's sunset..

Mmm ever since I left SSA (my term ended in February), I've filled in my time with AIESEC and the Michigan Econs Soc (MES)! The MES pretty much has 0 commitments and involvements, but AIESEC's been a really interesting experience! The only drawback is like the twice a week meetings and Saturday Extra Activities.. Time consuming, but pretty fun lar.

Speaking of AIESEC, it's given me a good opportunity to know a lot of Americans and other Asians. There's a fellow Singaporean, Xinyi, the esteemed Freshmen Rep (and future president of SSA??), who's a joy to talk to and joke with. Incidentally, Xinyi is probably the only reader of my blog after it fell into a state of disuse 2-3 years ago. A year back, I only updated my entries for that silly innocent joy of making an imprint in the world, you know, like urinating on a lamppost to mark that territory. Today, I once again welcome a certain level of readership. So, hello! Please make yourself at home, and feel free to ask should you need a cup of coffee or tea.

So what does AIESEC do? I shalt provide thee the model answer:
- It is the world's largest student organization with 22,000 members in 100+ countries around the globe! We are keen in providing opportunities to students to travel and work in different countries to develop global minded youths! Mmm, of course at a dimunitive, paltry fee of $500.00. Mm

What else is in my life now? Ah, yes. This weekend was Easter weekend, which was a blast. The cell group held a "pre-easter celebration" that we invited many friends to. All was good.

Ok I shall update you again when I am freer. Someday, I shall talk about some Philosophy or Economics.

Man! Yesterday something like 30-40 people came down to my place to celebrate my birthday! It was so out of the blue man.. I had been expecting some surprise to happen, but as it went to 11o'clock and onwards I was ready to resign to nothing and go to lie down in bed feeling sianz.

Then Jinfa burst into the room with a cake! It was so random, and he later said my stunned face was really a Kodak moment in itself.

So the cake was awesome, people were all around shaking my hands and chatting and laughing and chilling. It was really great cos this week's a massive examination fest for us all, but to think they all took the time to come down, that's really something man.

23 sounds so old, there's just this psychological thing.. 21 is the best age, 22 is still alright, but once the '3' digit is introduced then you start to realise that it is indeed downhill from here on! But you know what? If growing old means growing old with such an amazing bunch of people, then hey I don't mind it one bit =)

Man, 3 exams this week! I completed the stats for Econs one yesterday but I still am facing 2 tomorrow. I just... need.. to get the 2 of them out of my way...

The last 3 nights stretched to the 3 or 4am's, and I had to get by with a cup of coffee each day. I've decided not to tonight just in case I get hooked on the caffeine. That happens really easily for me so I'll just save my coffee quota for tomorrow instead! 1 exam at 10-11:30am, 1 from 8-9:30pm. Then I'm free till Thanksgiving!

Speaking of thanksgiving, I really gotta say that this week I've been surviving on nothing but adrenalin, caffeine, and God. I think the strength's totally sapped from me and now He's really carrying me through. So a big thank you to God!

Anyway, so what's up in my life? Well, I guess life is still good for me. Ever since the big few SSA events passed by (MAF, Halloween, SG Food Fest), I've gotten more time to do QT, studying and hanging out with my pals. The next event would be Celebrasia, and then the clubbing night with the other Asian SAs in end November.

Anyway work's just in the back of my mind, stymieing my fluency in writing. There's been a lot of learning, a lot of new experiences, and a lot of friends I've made. The freshmen are a great bunch who I meet occasionally in Central (Given that most of my batchmates stay at home in North). I'll get down to it again sometime, k? For now, its Econ 401 and Philo 202. Econ is the more infamous of the courses (known for its difficulty) but Intro Philo is surprisingly the course that I really have to struggle to maintain an A in. For the first midterm it was the single blemish, a B+/A- grade that shook me to reality. So I have to go on. I must push on.. After all, the ETA of my mini-post-exam-celebration is but 24hr40min away...

Ok,

Chih said my French was totally off and so I am now very paiseh that it is the first post that everyone will look at when they come in to my blog, however defunct it is.

So I'll push it down a little into secondary limelight with this post instead.

Anyway, its one more year since the last blog entry. Things have changed and shot by yet again.. My freshmen year is over and now I am the older-sounding sophomore. Goodness, youth is only so short and yet I'm watching it go by year by year. Sigh I wonder if humans were originally created to study for the first 20 years of their lives and in effect throwing them away. Perhaps it was so when humans lived hundreds of years long (like Noah). But not as practical in the time when a human lifespan was but 40 years (in the BCs)?

Anyway, I've come back from Umich after a year, my 4.0 GPA already shattered by a 2-credit A- (A+ counts as 4.0 in Umich so you can't go higher than that), fatter of course, and battle-worn from the exams. And then over summer I got to relax and enjoy Singapore. You know, Singapore is really still the best place to be in! I wrote an entry in another blog, the STB scholars one, about how I learnt to treasure Singapore after I left. Michigan is boring, and even New York honestly doesn't have as much to do as Singapore. Being small, all the amenities in Singapore is compacted and hence so much more accessible! In the US, you may even have to drive half a day to get to the nearest theme park (more than 6 times the width of Singapore!)

Ok that aside I've had a great time catching up with friends, doing internship with STB, playing comp games etc. In Umich there were so many times when I said "I'm not going to play this game/watch that movie/read that book etc till I go back home". And when I got home, I had a fair share of those unfulfilled desires!

Computer Games: C&C3, God of War, FinalFantasy12, Metal Gear Solid 3
Other games: Squash, Tennis, Table-top D&D, Bonanza!, Citadels, Munchkins, Texas Hold 'Em
Books: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Veronika decides to die, Manga
Shows: 24 Season 1, Flame of Recca, Final Fantasy 7:advent children, Transformers, 300...

Phew! I think that I should be pretty topped up to carry on slogging the next semester. The fun I had this summer was perhaps more than what I usually get in an entire year! =) Speaking of going back, I will be flying off to Mich again in slightly over a week. I will go on the morning of the 27th. I can't stand counting down but it just keeps weighing on my mind. 10..9..8.. Think my parents are also quite sad. Sigh I will definitely miss all again in the coming sem.

Ok think I'd better be off. Talk again another time! At least my chui French is somewhere down there now =)

Quell est votre profession?
- Je suis sans emploi, et je ORD a 15 Mars.

Felicitations pour votr ORD! Alors, qu'est-ce que vous faites?
- Je suis etudiant, a l'alliance francaise. Je apprenons le francais.

Vous parlez pas mal de francais. Depuis quand est-ce que vous etudie le francais?
- Depuis 24 fevrier. Dis donc, a propose, on se tutoie? C'est la regle chez moi.

Hahaha... Oui, D'accord, d'accord. Il y a deja eu des problemes avec le francais?
- Oui, toujour! Enfin... Quelquefois. Quell langue interessante!

Ensuite, tu as une copain?
- Oui, elle s'appelle Stepfanie. Elle est ma cherie amour. (*rire*) Elle aussi, elle est une etudiante a SMU. Elle as tres bien resultats!

Tiens, tiens... vous a l'air en amour, aussi! Voila, c'est tout. Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
- Tu m'appelle Ghim, si te plait! A bientot!

Fakie conversation for practice... Ghim

The farewell speech was much harder than I had expected. Jack was the first to talk to the men. Good ol' Jack, my decade-plus long friend, spoke to the guys. It was short and sweet, and I would have certainly expected him to have a lot more to say after a year with the guys in 3SIB Signal Company.

Then I went up myself to speak to the guys, and it was then that I realised how difficult it was to put my thoughts into words in front of the guys. I was almost speechless as the reality hit me that it was probably one of the last times I would see them again. The good and bad memories, the laughter and the sweat, the first time I came and the last time I would see all culminated in a kaleidoscopic, indescribable feeling. My farewell was also rather short, telling the guys to always take care, and thanking them for the wonderful memories. It was emotional.

Of my whole army life, I must say that my tour as a PC was the best period. BMT was too regimental, OCS was a blur, SOCC was educational, but life in 3SIB was the place where I really felt where my place in the army was. It was the perfect balance of pushy bosses and boisterous men. Over the past year, I had really come to know many of the guys who water paraded 3 times a day personally. Not only was the learning value great, but I also handed work stress, learnt more about management, and now I'll eventually leave with the sweet aftertaste of my army days lingering in my heart.

I ended by telling the men never to call me "sir" or "Lieutenant Chia" again if they ever saw me after my ORD, but for the first time, asked them to call me "Ghim", in my characteristic "Call me Ghim" line that I typically reserve for first encounters with strangers. Come to think of it, Lieutenant Chia was a totally different person, a more serious, much less nonsensical version of me that manifested itself whenever I slipped on my 2nd lieutanant apulettes. I can't say if I'm going to miss that person or not, cos he was nice, too.

The last day with the men was a range. Our understudies, Hanwei and Zhipeng, mostly conducted the range. It was very smooth once things picked up. Jack and I were probably the most experienced chamber safety officers, though I got in hot soup once for f***ing a regular full lieutanant when the barrel of his gun turned towards the guy in the next lane. woops. We also had a combat shoot, where my detail got the marksman score with 160/180 shots, the 2nd highest combat shoot detail. I got 30/30 targets! Hurrah. That's 200 dollars going ka-ching in the bank account! We rushed the range so efficiently that we managed to do 60+ ATP shooters and 30+ combat shooters by 11 pm. Can you imagine? That's the fastest I've seen myself, after all my experience as a neutral officer.

During the range, I went to interview my platoon one last time, giving them their due feedback and asking them for a brief guage of how I did my job. After speaking to them, I really felt very heartened and very very blessed to have been with them and known them. Being a PC is a fruitful job.

Towards the end, I got my chance to be like my OCS and BMT instructors, getting the men to do a declaration of pyrotechnics before searching them. That brought back many memories, you know, the "I, (NRIC) (RANK) (NAME), hereby declare that...."

When we finally got back to camp near midnight, JAck and I decided to fight it out for the undisputed pool champion of 3 SIB in the officer's mess. It was a hard fought battle but the victory was mine. Jack lost so graciously and without argument that I kinda felt bad.

And then, it came to the farewell speech. Sigh, I really don't know what to say about leaving. Saluting my OC was a touching moment, as was shaking hands with my CSM and HQ CSM. WO Cheng congratulated me and said "solid, ah". It was just 2 words, but it was the first time I had heard him compliment me, and it was really heartening. I suspect that on Thursday I'll wake up and sit in bed stunned momentarily, wondering where are my 3 rows of men, all with waterbottles in their hand, ready for the water parade and RO. I'll wonder how my precious 45 laptops and terminals are doing, and what I'll do about my damaged stores. I'll think about my platoon that I've come to know so much better and wonder how their doing. I'll probably even think about slipping on my green no. 4 and heading to the office, too, before stopping, with sudden realisation, the army is over for me. That I'm going to be operationally ready. That I'm going to leave.

The future will be fraught with changes, and full of twist and turns. But the past is cemented, an unchanging path that has been forged through history. Looking back, I must say that it was a good year. These a memories I hope to keep always.

I was quite perturbed when I visited my old church today. The pastor and leaders at church kept talking about faith as a very volatile thing. There were prayers where they pray for God to "increase our faith". He also voiced concern for fellow church members who were feeling very "low in faith", and spoke about the important of "keeping our faith high".

During worship, I felt that many of the songs also focused very much on the benefits that Christians have. We sung about the strength that God gives us, His perfect plans for us, how we could do things in the assurance of God's faith and love for us. Compared to KKMC, I find the style in SJSM very much more self-centred.

For one, who ought to be the faithful one? Us, or God? Yes, God does have immeasurable love for us, and that was why He was willing to die for our sins. But singing that God is faithful to us really makes it sound like God is there for Man. And that is something that unsettles me. It is true that Philippians 4:13 does say that "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." But I fear that overly focusing on strength, love, and mercy that God gives us may cause us to overlook the underlying theme below it all: that we are so undeserving of everything that God has given us, and we should deny ourselves all the more and humble ourselves in front of Him.

On the issue of faith, how ought we define it? Is faith really so mercurial, so temporary that we can have so much faith in God on one day and lose it all within a week? Is faith simply a feeling that we feel when we have a warmth in our hearts after a session of worship? Do we only make an effort to glorify God when u feel that "u have the faith"?? I always thought faith and belief were synonymous. And I feel that faith in God comes from a solid and strong relationship and belief in Him. I mean, if you DO know that God exists, then there's no reason why your faith in Him would fluctuate, right? I am in no place to judge, but in my very humble opinion, I felt that the leaders were making people believe that faith is more like an infatuation, where u experience the highs and the lows in your relationship with God, and not like true love, where u have real commitment, real belief, and the will to act in accordance to God's will even when you are in a spiritual rut. Wouldn't that be ideal in any relationship?

Think it was a good idea to remove my counter and tagboard from the page.. knowing the viewership of your blog sometimes causes u to lose focus and start writing articles for people to read instead. My blog does not aim to be a publication, but a reflection.

Anyway, this really sux. I was looking forward to a nice weekend, but yesterday at the court martial centre, WO Terence came over and told me I had to stand in for some other Duty Officer today. It really really irritated me and upset my plans but I took it with a smile. Anyway, duties are like that. U do one more now, u do one less next time. I hope.

Speaking of the court martial centre, I was there to defend one of the RPs in my camp who was charged for AWOL. Gosh I've never dealt with such an unremorseful person before. On my first visit to him, I tried to source for any mitigating factors. But apparently, he's sticking to the story that he just "woke up and didn't feel like coming to camp, after a late night of partying". I continued to ask and thankfully there was the fact that he had some financial pressures, which I could use to help him.

And so I lined out his debts in his mitigation plea and submitted it to the members of the court. This judge was the most no-nonsense one I ever got and he didn't even ask the defending officers to read the plea aloud. He scanned thru it, asked for any additional clarifications, and adjourned the court for deliberation on the sentence.

anyhow, of the 4 cases tried, 3 got the maximum sentence (with 1 guy getting 24 months in DB), but somehow this guy I was defending got only 3 months. and that is for his 4th AWOL offence. That's about the same punishment he got for the last AWOL offence, in which i was incidentally his defending officer too. Oh well, guess defending pple is about highlighting the right problems and statements, and innocently treading past the rest of the more incriminating facts. Will see him again in 90 days then.